Wednesday, 9 December 2015

Exquisite timing


With two loud bangs
our gas stove threw in the towel last night.

At first light the hunt began 
for anyone who knew how to fix it.

The usual rigmarole followed with The Four Seasons on hold.
The passing from hand to hand in various organisations. 
The out of order number, the wrong number,
the,
'We're very busy, everybody wants their cookers fixed. 
I will get someone to call you back between
24 and 48 hours.
Then it will be up to 5 days before anyone can come.'
The lying on the floor with a torch to find
the ten digit model number engraved on its intestines.

The very real possibility that it is beyond repair,
(it is twenty years old),
or the parts are unavailable.
I consider the option of buying a new one,
shudder at the expense
and realise that we will still be sailing very close to the wind 
for delivery and installation.
Plus I happen to remember that the floor was laid up to
and not under the stove in a close fitting chimney alcove and 
that it was an even tighter fit after the walls were tiled.
Likely the floor and tiles will be damaged
as the old one is extracted and the new one pushed in.

Although the entire electrics have blown 
and the gas is therefore cut off to the ovens and grill, 
the burners on the top will still work with matches.

Poached goose anyone? 


27 comments:

  1. Oh dear, that's not good news. I do hope it can be fixed, it's always so very frustrating when this sort of stuff happens. Maybe you could angle for an invite somewhere for Christmas... CJ xx

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  2. Oh that does sound terminal. Now slightly concerned as my oven is a similar age and we have company for Christmas......

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  3. Plan B? Christmas dinner in THEIR house?

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  4. Oh no!!! That is a most unseasonal slice of bad luck. I see turkey sandwiches in your future.

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  5. There's a sauerkraut and boiled goose option ... but I think it only features in a song by/about Incredibad Boombox . Still , it's a thought ...
    Let's hope rescue is swift !

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    1. I will find the song and see if I can extract the recipe from the lyrics.

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  6. We had a competition at the Christmas Tree Party (2011 I think it was) to write a poem called 'The Cooker's Last Christmas'. The poems were brilliant. Guess what? We still have the cooker and every Christmas I wonder....I shall keep poached goose in mind. Could always use the camping stove. Good Luck Lucille.

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    1. The only rhyme I can think of for turkey is murky. I can think of more for duck.

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  7. Jeepers Lucille, this sounds neither useful nor beautiful. I am sensing the presence of a new stove in your future.

    (Although I sometimes bemoan my continued status as an apartment renter, it might be times like this that renting can be a plus. Not always, but sometimes. I've seen my original kitchen stove and fridge replaced during my multi-decade tenancy. If I did own my abode, I would have chose other appliances, but there was something good about having Building Management take care of replacement before those vintage items crossed their own finish lines.

    Hoping your kitchen is up and operational in a week or so. xo

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    1. I am making myself a badge saying Building Management. That should make people sit up and take notice.

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  8. Yikes! Our oven, as well, is coming up to 20 years old, and we have a large crew coming for Christmas. . . I try to imagine what we might do (especially since we live on a tiny island whose logistics are already complicated enough). I'm crossing my fingers very tightly that you're able to have the beast repaired -- in time to cook the real beast. . . I know that 'round here, some hotel and restaurant kitchens will sell fully cooked birds with all the trimmings. . . perhaps there's a similar service near you?

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    1. I'm becoming resigned to the idea of a stove top meal. A nice casserole perhaps.

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  9. Oh dear - just what you needed at this time of year - may I suggest a bar-b-q for the Christmas turkey.

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    1. It's certainly mild enough to contemplate.

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  10. My deepest sympathies Lucille, sounds like my worst nightmare. At least the pudding is steamed not baked.

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    1. The pudding was jettisoned in favour of the cake and mince pies. There's only so much dried fruit I can face at once. However there is salted caramel ice cream in the freezer. So as long as that doesn't fail. . .

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  11. Maybe a buffet instead of the traditional dinner? Although I think I'd miss the roast potatoes more than anything else to be honest...
    Hope you manage to get it fixed.

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    1. Yes it's the potatoes I'm mourning too. I even haver the goose fat ready.

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  12. Café Rouge are open for Christmas day...

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  13. You could always go round to Tall Cat's place...... after all, he does rather "owe" you.....

    (Yes, I am still alive :O))

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    1. Hello Cathy I always think of you when Tall Cat comes round. If only we knew where he lives.

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  14. Crikey – not what you want to happen at this time of year! I hope an oven-repair-person comes to your rescue post-haste. Failing that, are any of your near neighbours/friends going away for Christmas day? You could ask to use their oven. Good luck.

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  15. Argh. Much sympathy. Hope you get it fixed.

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  16. We are waiting in today for such a person but apparently he won't have the spares on him, they will have to be ordered and another appointment made for the fitting of said spares. Or he might just say it's kaput.

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  17. Oh no, the worst possible time for this to happen. One year our boiler failed on the 21st December and it was well into the new year before the parts arrived to fix it. The children were five and seven so we went swimming a lot that holiday and did lots of dancing and jumping around to keep warm.

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